Who would have thought that the key to my awakening lay in my meeting the healthy masculine within me!
For the past few years I have engaged with and facilitated Woman’s Circle work as often as possible; diving deeply into my womb and remembering how to listen to her voice, immersing myself in the sacred feminine in the sanctity of the Red Tent. In these spaces I have been exposed to mild – yet powerful, woman’s Tantric practices.
The power of the Red Tent for awakening women and providing a safe space to let go, to release, to be with herself is immense! But the story I have to tell is not a Red Tent story; it is a story about a Man and a Woman.
“What is the healthy masculine?” She asked me before I left home, “Discover that, and tell me when you get back.” Thus began my quest into the unknown, my journey of healing.
When I met him I recognized him instantly, but was unable to keep two feet on the ground. The power of his magnetism was electric, my yoni called out for him longingly, juicily; she wanted to be filled! My mind translated the juicy, sparkling nervous chemistry into a chatter of questions and sexual images, which distracted me from the words he was sharing with me – teaching me about oils. My desire to create with him almost entirely overpowered me.
Thankfully I am brave these days, no longer stilling my voice. In revealing myself and my mischievous mind to him he revealed himself to me, and I met myself in him as he met me – in all my chaos, my nerves a jumble – unconditionally.
“Enter the space of pure potential,” he said…
The storm within me lifted as I was flooded by his stillness and his stillness awoke mine.
Still lightning bolts and ripples of passion rose through this body of mine, yet the silence enfolded me from deeply within my being.
To truly meet the healthy, sacred Masculine in another is to meet it within oneself. With He alive within I Am, free to allow my Yes desires to move and direct me, I am safe, I am held.
I am protected by the He within me who dwells in an eternal state of stillness even in full warrior action, by the He who’s little boy playfully jokes and laughs at Her inner creative chaos, and magnetizes the truth into Form.
In my life’s experience it is rare to meet a Man in whom I recognize the healthy masculine, but I can tell you this: When you meet him you will know him for he is a hunter of the truth, not a hunter of Woman’s creativity. He does not seek to possess, yet he provides and protects and embraces without compromising his own wellbeing. It is true that you may find that the feminine within him is in need of maturing… you may find that She is lacking emotional prowess with graceful ability and fearless open heartedness…
It truly does take time and practice for He and She to learn to trust one another, even within the most conscious Human.
So I find myself to be a mirror - a conscious mirror, a Woman, embodied healthy feminine in a dance with a Man, embodied healthy masculine – a conscious mirror himself.
Last night we chatted for some time; then he held me.
We lay together under the blankets skin to skin.
He lay beneath me,
I with my ear to his heart,
My creative feminine danced, and sparkled, and breathed in his stillness – and I mean stillness; he lay still,
peaceful and content, eyes closed, cosmic smiling within.
I drank deeply his silence and a calm and peace permeated my being,
even my sparkles existed in silent stillness - like twinkling stars in the dark night sky…
I am Presence, pure unadulterated potential; rippling, undulating creativity and ripe and fertile silence…
No expectation, no rejection; only Yes me, only presence, freedom, being.
Last night in the sacred space created when Man and Woman meet I shed the false eyelashes of The Lover, I began to wipe off the manner and make-up I’ve worn my whole life that defined me as a woman-worthy-of-love.
When I looked at myself in the mirror of the Healthy Masculine, I found myself, and the depth of being healthy feminine – Awakening Dakini, Body of desire.